Let’s talk about sex! There are those of us who do it either because we enjoy it, like going at it solo with a dildo, or are not so into it. While the others are either curious, or rather do other things they enjoy. Either way, having an active, healthy, and happy sex life packs heaps of benefits such as:
- Reducing your stress levels
- Lowering your blood pressure
- Boosting your body’s immunity
- Reducing your risk of getting a stroke or heart attack
- Burning calories, depending on how much effort you put in or the number of flexing moves you try in bed. But sexual intercourse can also count as exercise. This means that you could cut down the time spent for your workouts.
- Feeling a flood of happiness and pleasure. Oooh yes, especially you orgasm and finally climax. This happens because at the beginning and peak of your orgasm, your brain releases a hormone called oxytocin, which can also be called the ‘bonding or peace hormone’. As this floods your body and mind, you feel blissful and a deeper attachment with your partner.
However, not all women can have an active sex life. Sometimes, life gets in the way. It may be that they have chosen to consciously abstain from having sex because they don’t have the time, do not feel the desire to do so, are unable to find a suitable partner, for spiritual or religious reasons, or are going through a sudden dry spell. Although the reasons for less to no sex vary and may be reasonable, here is what happens to your vagina when you don’t or stop having sex. 1
1. Your Vagina Will Say “Ouch!”
A person who is having sex for the first time or after a long time, will both experience a similar discomfort or pain. However, those who have become celibate (not had sex for a longtime), would feel a more painful stretch when having sex again, explained Dr. Brett Worly, an ob-gyn in the medical center of Ohio State University. A woman’s vagina has muscles, and sex works it out, so once it has gotten used to that and is then deprived of it, it stretches back in place and becomes stiff. Something like that stiffness and pain you feel in your muscles when going for a run, after a long period of not exercising. Moreover, this pain is more likely to occur especially after a bad breakup, because you psychologically put that emotional wall up on your sex organs too, hence displacing its natural comfort zone.
Solution
Take it slow, use some sort of lubrication, whether it is your own or ones that comes in a bottle. Likewise, it is important to have some foreplay and communicate with your partner, so there is no pain and you feel good too. Sex is not supposed to be a no pain, no gain activity, so do stop if it hurts and try again with more lube and fun!
2. When Your Vagina Clams Up!
After a longtime without penetration, the vaginal muscles start to contract and become narrower, almost like they clam up or go into lockdown mode. If they become so narrow that even a tampon or finger can’t seem to get through, then you may be suffering from a condition called vaginismus, which occurs due to various reasons, including extreme ones like abuse or rape.
Solution
However, even if a woman is a virgin, this vaginal pain would be a momentary one and can be treated by being patient, engaging in a lot of foreplay to bring that sense of ease so it opens up, or using lube should do the trick. However, if your case seems severe or if you have ever been sexually abused, then please do see a sex therapist, gynecologist, and ask for a pelvic-floor physical therapist, explained Holly Richmond, a sex therapist. The simple and gentle exercises suggested by them may help naturally loosen your lady parts up.
3. Anyone See Where My Sex Drive Went?
Another possibility after abstaining from sex for a while is seeing your sex drive go far, far away. This means it could take longer for you to orgasm (that is if you even orgasm at all) because your body lived and did just fine not wanting or getting them. This lack of lust may seem like bliss when you were celibate, but it could keep that dry spell going for longer than you’d like!
Solution
To bring back that lust of a vixen in heat, start by masturbating as regularly as you can so you can make yourself orgasm. Follow this up by doing it with a partner and letting them take over for you. A plus point is that masturbation is said to make you better in bed as you would be more giving lovers. It also makes your body and lady parts more comfortable and makes you and your partner feel more sensual too. Your path to arousal and the health benefits of sex would not be far now!
4. The Vulnerable Vagina
It is not uncommon to see many new and old parents who stop having sex after having a child, because it starts to feel less important. But that’s far from the truth. When a woman stops to have sex after having a child, is closing in on her menopause, or is already experiencing menopause, the estrogen levels in her body start to drop or stagnate, making the vaginal walls weak and vulnerable. It becomes more of a ‘lose it if you don’t use it’ kind of situation, because if the vaginal muscles are not exercised, it could cause vaginal atrophy (where the walls of the vagina become dry, thin and are more likely to tear.)
Solution
If you are currently not having sex, don’t have a partner, or if it has been a while, for the sake of your vagina’s health, do practice some self-love regularly. If you do have a partner, then what have you got to lose? It’s recommended to have sex for about 2 to 3 times a week.
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